Saturday, December 17, 2011

Stake Out Reflextions by Little Egypt

Stake Out Reflextions by Little Egypt

by Glow LittleEgypt on Saturday, December 17, 2011 at 11:30am
For those of you who are wondering what was the final outcome of my stake out last night, here is the break down.

For the last 2 weekends my Christmas deer have been attacked by pedestrians heading home from a neighborhood bar near my house. Last night I had a funny feeling that someone would try and harm my little babies, and so the stake out began.

Not wanting to wake my husband I slipped quietly out of bed and decided to head downstairs at 11:15 to try and catch a thief. Things were kind of boring, sitting in the dark, trying to keep my eyes open, tweeting status updates, getting cold, then hungry, and pissed that my breathe started to smell.

A few thoughts kept crossing my mind....Like...What would I actually do if someone was going to steal my deer? You can't just jump someone, let alone a grown man! (yes, of course I assumed it was a man)

Do I throw a pot at him and hope it hits him right between the eyes? I became sorely disappointed I didn't own a megaphone or giant spot light. So my only game plan, as I sat on my living room floor in my pink bathrobe and black socks,...(I know, I know... not a fashion statement) was to scare the crap out of the Mo Fo!

I positioned myself at the corner of the living room which gave me a great advantage at seeing all 3 Christmas deer and to be facing the direction of the oncoming pedestrians. 2:02 am I heard a rustling sound coming from the other side of the yard. (totally didn't expect that) I turned my head to look into the darkness and there was this man crouched over my deer trying to pull the poor deers legs from its stakes!

I knew from my time in the ring :).. the best way to scare someone is to catch them off guard and to be as loud as possible. Thank goodness for my home alarm and a good set of pipes... here's why.

As soon as I saw the deer napper, (that's my new name for Mo Fo).. I moved like a ninja to the front door. Just seconds from when he started to pull at the deers legs, I opened the door and shouted in a very loud and authoritative voice...."Move Away From the Deer!!".. He was startled and quickly became "The Deer in the Headlights", excuse the pun.

Opening the door triggered the warning buzzer of the alarm, as the loud hum from the warning alarm was going off, I could see his two accomplices standing in the corner of the yard. A young man and young woman who looked to be standing there star gazing at 2 a.m.

The man crouched by the deer looked up at me with a sheepish grin on his face and said... "Oh, sorry."... I said, "Sorry? ( thinking, ..sorry about what? getting caught? Dumb Ass!) instead I just finished my sentence with ..."the cops are on the way and the alarms been tripped!"

I could hear my husband rustling upstairs for his pants and as he came running down stairs he was saying..."What's going on!"... I pointed out the door saying "Some guy is trying to steal our deer!".. just then the alarm blasted and the "Deer Napper" jumped up and walked as fast as he could, without running, straight down the street.

He was shortly followed by the "Star Gazers". My husband got in the car to try and find them but they disappeared into the night.

I spent the next couple hours waiting for someone else to come by and harm my babies. The neighborhood looked liked Zombies were on the loose. Pairs of people just walking slowly and sides ways into the night and all the while I am wondering what the heck kind of neighborhood am I living in?

I woke up this morning to a sunny day, women pushing their children in strollers by the front of my house, bikers enjoying an early ride and a couple of joggers off for a run. And I can't help but wonder if anyone knows that we get infested by Zombies on the weekends.

No comments: